Like any mental affliction I regard insomnia as a weakness in myself (but funnily don’t judge others for it). However rationalising insomnia by telling myself that there is no earthly reason for it, does not work whilst in the throes of it. Given the amount of time i was awake last night I had plenty of time to think about why this was happening to me unfortunately the conclusion i reached was that there are no reasons – it just is what it is.
The Boyf thinks it has something to do with him, it doesn’t, its just much more obvious when he’s around.. A normal night for me involves waking up at least twice if not more. Sometimes I get up and try a change of scenery – the couch, others I just have a pee and then go back to bed. An abnormal night involves me waking around midnight and then being unable to go back to sleep for up to 4 hours or conversely sleeping the entire night through (this kind of night only follows either a very sleepless night or jet lag).
By way of taking the positives I have noted that the severe bouts I have been suffering lately have lessened to one night a week, which is making a difference and is almost manageable. I don’t think I can cure this but hopefully I can learn to worry a little less when it does happen. After all, the next day is never as bad as I fear it will be.
