Highly Strung

Most of them are concerned about their weight but it doesnt stop them buying biscuits for the whole office and eating 5 of them within 10 minutes….it doesn’t stop me either.

Mmmm….biscuits…

Working at home today – there’s a painter painting our front hallway.  He’s a nice man, however our loo is off the front hallway and i really don’t fancy having to pee while the door is ajar and he is in the room (he’s painted the edge of the door)…do i really have to wait till he goes off for his lunch… 

Out riding today on my new bike (early birthday present), the Boyf and I stopped to look at some lovely little houses set back from the road.  As we did so an older fella shouted along the road to us ‘hey lads!’, he then proceeded to drunkenly waffle on about being a builder who’d worked on the houses we were looking at.  As we cycled away the Boyf said – ‘did he just call you a lad?’

if you haven’t lost your figure and your arse looks fairly good how do you know you’re too old for the way you dress? Is the very fact that I’m asking myself that question a good sign? I’d ask of friend who is in her early twenties except it seems that since we met she’s done some getting older and is now in her late twenties. Where does the time go…how can I be turning 35 in a couple of weeks?

When a fellow kiwi invited me to see something by Duncan Sarkies (director of Scarfies) at the Barbican I obviously wasn’t paying close enough attention, because I thought I was going to see a film. I continued to think this right up until the point where we settled ourselves in chairs in the The Pit which looked very like a small theatre rather than a cinema. Although it did have a screen at the back, it also had quite a lot of musical and technical kit at the front.

Strange for a film, I thought, and leaned over to ask if the film perhaps had a live soundtrack? It was in fact a play consisting of a mixed media presentation with voiceover type monologues. Despite the lack of conventionality (I like my plays to be plays – you know; actors, dialogue, movement etc), I really enjoyed it and came away feeling slightly homesick for what I sometimes forget is a quite unique point of view. New Zealand humour tends to be very deadpan and in places very dark.

I think we went to the last night, so thats gone now, but if you happen to see it advertised somewhere in Australasia – I recommend you go see it – its a laugh innit.

So I listed my old laptop (Macbook Black here I come!) on ebay with a Buy it now price of £200. Yesterday I awoke to an ebay notification informing me someone had bought it, the notification provided a German address and asked for a postage price. Funny, I thought, I could have sworn I had put UK postage only. So anyway I mailed back telling him the cost of postage and requesting paypal payment. In return I received this email:

Hello,

How was your been..this day is right to inform you that the payment was carried out and the money was deduced from my account paypal also that I want that you know that the will paypal also confirm the address of forwarding to you.So please obtain again with me as soon as you obtained the confirmation of the service custormar paypal.
Name – Olayemi Badmus
Address – 37 Thomas salako street
City – Ijaiye Ogba
State – Lagos state
Country – Nigeria
Zip code – 23401
Phone number- +xxxxxxxxxxxx
I have the email of confirmation of paypal which you are to obtain the announced article and the email the reference number of forwarding to the service to the customers paypal of customer for the acredition of your account.They do this to protect the salesman and the buyer.I will wait for reading you. Have one fine day. Wills

My reply (complete with impatiently typed typos):

I have not received your payment and am convinced that you are not a genuine buyer due to the fact that you gave a german address originally and now give one in Nigeria.

I will not be desptaching the item to you and will be reporting you to Ebay complaint service.

Please do not contact me or bid on the item again.

His reply:

hello send u payment today i wos in german bot is my son want to us the item in african pls send the item to im pls u we resif you payment at soon aat osible

I then received this ridiculous spoof email from Paypal cc’d to 20 people:

Dear Seller,

We want you to Know that We Still have your money on our desk and is now ready to be Transmitted into your personal Paypal Account as soon as We have receive the shipping tracking number as a Shipping Verification.Warning: You are advise to arranged for the shipment via Standard Special Delivery to the address required by the Client .

Note: that Immediately the item has been send to the address required by the client in Nigeria you hereby to contact our customer services care at : (status-tracking:consultant.com) for the shipment Tracking Number ,so that we can transfer the payment status to your personal Paypal Account .

However, As soon as the item has been ship you are advise not to mail the buyer the International shipping tracking number only to us for shipment verification.

You can only mail the buyer the tracking number immediately you have receive an order from us.

This is done against any attempt to Fraud.

We Look forward to serve you better online.

Thanks For Using Paypal.

PayPal, an eBay company

All rights reserved.

Copyright© 2007 PayPal Inc. All rights reserved. ,

My subsequent and final reply to the ‘buyer’:

You did not read my listing correctly I do not post to addresses outside the uk. I am blocking your email address now as you are harassing me.

So now I’ve had to relist my laptop and eBay have advised I owe them £13 fees. I can make a complaint to ebay but not until after 10 April…goddamnit!